User blog:Eddlikeshotsauce/The Journal of Eddward
Salutations!My name is Eddward,and I have started my own blog,echoing the daily adventures here in Peach Creek and answering questions,thank you. September The 15th Eddy tried a scam immediatly after school ended,a "Truck For Sale".He used an actual truck he 'borrowed' from Principal Antoucci.I don't think that worked for Eddy. Report Cards came out today and I was frustrated when I found out I made a 99 in algebra.Eddy's complaint list was so enormous this time the teacher wrote a novel titled "My Complaints of Edmond".It would be a compelling read,if it weren't my friend. We went over to Ed's house to watch a movie on his TV.The film is processing right now,and I am left writing a blog. The 16th Eddy went on a vacation to Nebraska today,so me and Ed went on the monthly insect expedition.We planned to be captured by the Kankers,but we had a weird suprise today.The Kankers seemed to be gone from their place in the trailer park.Either they moved or are on vacation. In other news,today I signed up for piano lessons.I don't know who my instructor is,but I'm certain he will be fairly educated. The 17th Today I had my first piano lesson after school.I never would have guessed my teacher would be Jonny 2x4,but I have to say,he can play piano. I hate to say this,but the world seems to be much brighter when Eddy left.Kevin held a party to celebrate.I,of course,was not invited,and neither was Ed. The 18th Eddy came back today.He said that he hated Nebraska,but I believe that the trip changed him.He seems much more interested in Nazz now. Rolf hosted a meatball juggling contest today.He won and Eddy,somehow,earned second place.I would not believe it if I didn't see it with my own eyes. The 19th You know what they say,it's not if you win or lose it's how you play.A football game was today against Lemon Brook so that is why I am writing from the hospital. It is very interesting in here,to say the least.I am in the same room as Nazz(who,when we scored a piont,had her legs broken by an emotionally disturbed man on the other team) and Ed(who had his neck broken-he was the only one who didn't scream). The 23rd I have not written in for days as the hospital wouldn't let me have the laptop back,but now we are out and I am writing from my own laptop now.Thank Goodness. Ed is still in the hospital,poor guy.He's not really taking his injury seriously,by the looks of it. The 24th Not having Ed around was weird,but it is perfectly fine not having him in the house.Last time he had a sleepover here he sleepwalked and bit off the J key. Today was another piano lesson with Jonny.I am getting better,as I can play a song called "The Foreign Cereal Explosion",which is a rather bumpy tune using only two keys.I can play now,so I recieved a Jawbreaker for my efforts.Hallelujia!But unfortunatly I knew it wouldn't take Eddy long to find it,so I ate it quick. The 25th Ed came back today,but his sister re-broke his neck.He had no money to go back to the hospital so I am looking after him. This story reminds me of an old folktale I read when I was a kid- *''Once upon a time,'' *''Jeffery had a lime,'' *''We want this to rhyme,'' *''So he had a dime,'' *''And when the churchbells chime,'' *''He commited a crime,'' *and so *''Jeffery was in jail,'' *''Because he had a pail,'' *''He threw it on the rail,'' *''The train just went to-'' Here it breaks into an unbearable amount of cursing.I don't know why it reminds me of that. The 26th I normally don't use any swear words,but now there is the time for one.Dang.The school was shut down today because a health inspector came in and was eaten by 30,000 cockroaches.We won't be coming back to school until Spetember next year.I might go insane. Ed,Eddy and Jonny appear to see this as a stroke of luck.If only for a day I could not care about school. Speaking of Jonny,I had another piano lesson today.I am really getting through with this piano. Eddy set up a great scam today."Zero Gravity".It recieved rave reviews and Eddy got around $5.00 for it.Unfortunatly Kevin stole the money,so we are on our own again.He has a garage full of jawbreakers.I don't understand why he needs more. The 27th Today was Kevin's birthday.We weren't invited,but I gave him a $50 Target card anyway.Mom left it on my desk with a sticky note on it.Kevin thanked me vigourously,though Eddy only gave him an empty Coke can.It is still 9 months until my birthday arrives. We also set up a scam called "Shocking",where the costumers pay to experience an artificial earthquake.It worked,but worked too well,and made refunds(unfortunatly). The 29th I have been gone for a day as a rumor has been thrown around about our ancestors,so I want to clear that up immeadiatly. Ed and Sarah are from the country Turkey(at least his ancestors were),Eddy is from Switzerland,Nazz is from Germany,Jonny's African,Kevin is Austrailian,Rolf is from Austria,Jimmy's Russian,and I am from Ireland(even though I was born in Minnesota). With that out of the way,I can focus more on the daily adventures.Today,I invented a detector that could detect when people where near.Unfortunatly,Eddy found it and used it for himself.Sarah stole the device. I now can also play "That's My Horse" on the piano.I am really getting well on the piano. The 30th Once a chicken,always a chicken.Today I was explaining to Ed chickens don't have laser beam eyestalks when all of a sudden Jimmy came running past screaming at Kevin not to give him parsnip juice.Oh,brother. Eddy tried a scam called "The Great Eddimimus Thingy"in which you paid to see Ed kill me.I was never caught so refunds were needed and Eddy was exceptionally madder than normal. October The 1st Well I never would have guessed that Ed would dress up as Edzilla again.And it is to nast to describe in one entry.See The Rath of Edzilla for more details Eddy wasn't smart enough to evade trouble this time,to make a long story short. The 2nd Today Eddy tried a scam called "Taco Fell" in which there was a maze made of mushed-up tacos.It was actually fun until Ed ate the maze(and everyone in it).They all demanded refunds. Category:Blog posts